


Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

by TaikoTurtle



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A little bit of violence, Alex-centric, F/F, Some Swearing, got a little of everything i think, got some angst, got some fluff, i'm terrible at tags, nothing too crazy i think?, post 2x05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 02:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8560624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaikoTurtle/pseuds/TaikoTurtle
Summary: It's been a week since Alex's confession to Maggie at the bar when a series of murders brings the two of them to work together again. Through dire situations, they come together to take down the criminal as well as realize what they mean to each other.





	1. Can't Outrun It

**Author's Note:**

> This short story is dedicated to dochicksdigscars. It’s my first Supergirl fic and first story on AO3 in general, so feedback is super appreciated! Set post 2x05, with ep 6 coming out tonight!
> 
> Feel free to hit me up on tumblr as well if you'd like: taikoturtle

Alex was never one to avoid a challenge. When unexpected obstacles crossed her path, her usual course of action was tackle it head-on; grab life by the horns and all that junk her mom used to tell her. But when a roadblock smashed into her life in the form of one feisty NCPD detective with a penchant for alien justice, everything she thought she knew about herself got utterly torn asunder.

She never wanted to confront these foreign feelings that lay dormant in the darkest regions of her mind, nor did she ever think she’d ever have to. Work and Kara were the only two constants that ever consumed her life, but in the blink of an eye, Maggie Sawyer just said _fuck this_ and bulldozed her way in with a sledgehammer. Alex’s walls were crumbling faster than she could rebuild, and she most certainly didn’t feel ready to face what lay beyond the safety of those lifelong defenses.

Which was exactly the same reason as to why she refused to answer her cell phone for the fourth time this night. 

_Bzz Bzzzzz_

_Bzz Bzzzzz_

The display on her phone lit up with Maggie’s frowning face – a photo which the detective clearly disapproved of at the time – but each jingle of her happy ringtone only plunged the knife in her heart a little deeper.   

“Arrrre you going to get that?” Winn quipped as he swiveled around in his chair to face Alex. “Because between the buzzing and the noise and the – Oh!” 

The monitor he was previously watching beeped at him angrily, successfully grabbing back his attention.

“Looks like we’ve got a situation. Another body has been found matching similar patterns to the previous victim.”

“Claw-like lacerations?” Alex inquired.

“Correct – the exact same spacing apart as well, but we won’t know more until you see it in person; I’ll alert Supergirl.”

“On it, thanks Winn.”

Grabbing her now silent phone, Alex headed straight for the hangar and opted for her Ducati instead of the various DEO vehicles.

The wind whipped past her body as she sped through the winding roads of National City, each passing moment blurring together over a canvas of darkness and the occasional streetlight. It had only been a week since her brave confession at the bar, but the days mercilessly dragged on at a glacial pace to the point where it felt like a year had already come and gone – a year of Maggie Sawyer haunting her thoughts. 

Her whole life she felt like something was just _off_ about her. She couldn’t quite place the feeling, but she just knew. Now that Maggie vocalized and solidified the fears that Alex had spent her whole life attempting to bury deeper in her labyrinth of emotions, there was nowhere to escape. 

Flashing lights leaked into her vision as she rounded the last block before the crime scene. Only a few people were on-site at the moment, but an unmistakable silhouette caused Alex’s heart to hammer into overdrive. The last incident Alex narrowly missed seeing the detective, but as her motorcycle neared the crime scene and her powerful engine announced her entrance like a roaring lion, she knew that escape was off the table. Pulling her helmet off and setting it down, she approached the body and kneeled down to get a better look.

“Victim is a young male teen between the ages of 15 to 18. Multiple slashes to the torso and arms as well as one large puncture wound to the chest.” 

Alex struggled to focus on the body as Maggie’s voice graced her ears. 

“The puncture wound is about five inches in diameter, so whatever made this isn’t a normal weapon.”

Maggie kneeled down beside her with only a couple feet of space between them. Tilting her head to the side, she studied Alex’s features, concern evident in her furrowed brow.

“How’ve you been?” 

Alex shrugged nonchalantly, “Oh same old same old, you know.”

Maggie pursed her lips ever so slightly.

“Well no, I don’t. You go radio silent for a week without so much as a text and now you’re suddenly here and I just –”

Inhaling momentarily, she shook her head and smirked.

“It’s good to see you again, Danvers.”

Against her better judgment, Alex turned to face her and almost immediately regretted it. Every emotion that she carefully analyzed and compartmentalized over the week broke free of its chains. The restraints she so surely put in place snapped in an instant because she missed the sight of those endearing dimples that formed so perfectly symmetrical with each snarky grin. She missed the air of raw energy and bravado that her presence exuded with each calculated movement. She missed the goddamn clichéd sparkle that danced in her endless eyes.

She missed _Maggie_.

Her world suddenly existed in a vacuum devoid of any oxygen and she felt her throat go dry as her body seemingly failed all basic human functions.

“I – well, uh – right. You look good.”

Wincing at her own sputtered words, Alex made a quick mental note to pour liquid acid into her brain after the night was over. 

Maggie bemusedly quirked her eyebrow at her just as Supergirl made a swift entrance beside them. 

“The DEO filled me in on the situation. Anything new you can tell me about the victims?”

Alex bolted upright once her sister spoke, her eyes wide with relief.

“Hi! Yes! So, it’s the same M.O. as far as we can tell. Secluded location, executed at night, and within about a five mile spread between the two victims. Several long scratches along the body in groups similar to a claw mark. However the new variable to this victim is that there is a puncture wound in the chest, which indicates a spear or needle-like weapon was involved.” 

Maggie stood up and rubbed her chin pensively, “Think our perp is Gordanian?”

“No,” Alex countered, “I don’t think they would have murdered the victim. Gordanians may be skilled hunters, but I imagine they’d rather reap in slaves than kill for sport.”  

“Well they’re definitely a hostile predator of some sort because both victims still had all their money and valuables left behind, so greed wasn’t a factor.”

Kara scanned the perimeter as she digested the slew of information, “I’ll look around and see if I can find any more clues that might help us catch this criminal. Keep your eyes peeled and stay safe.”

With a gust of wind, Kara was gone just as quickly as she had arrived. The dull rumble of heavy-duty wheels signaled the approach of oncoming DEO vehicles. Waving her hand to signal over the evidence team, Alex took one last grim look at the poor boy on the ground.

“What a horrible way to go. Out here, all alone, not even aware that these were his last living moments on Earth.”

Staring down at the crumpled form, Maggie's eyes softened in somber agreement. She had seen her fair share of atrocities in the grim underbelly of Gotham City before transferring to National City, however it never made things any easier. A murder was a murder, and criminals never ceased to discover new and revolting ways to end a life. 

"Hey wait, check this out."

Alex crouched down and, after pulling out a pair of gloves from her pocket, reached under the victim's hand to retrieve a cell phone with a cracked screen and splatters of blood. 

"Well, the display may be broken, but I'll bet you a box of doughnuts that we can pull some sound bites off of this and reveal what our mystery man sounds like. With any luck, it'll help us narrow down the species."

Folding her arms playfully, the NCPD detective scoffed.

"Doughnuts? Is that supposed to be a cop joke?"

"Hey!" Alex stood up and puffed out her chest, a mischievous grin spread across her face as she stared her down, "I'll have you know, I don't mess around when it comes to food."

Not one to back down, Maggie straightened up and stepped into Alex's space. With mere inches separating their faces, the smaller Latina's expression scrunched impishly as she smiled.

"Oh is that so?"

Gulping visibly, Alex clenched her jaw in anticipation as her previously confident demeanor melted away to expose her raw emotions. Her heart pounded wildly out of control like a runaway train, with every attempt to calm her now shallow, erratic breaths a feeble and futile effort.  The world around her rapidly faded from view until it became nothing but a kaleidoscope of Maggie.

“I – I… uh…”

“What’s wrong, Danvers?”  Maggie murmured in a hushed undertone. “Out of jokes already?”

Alex’s breath hitched in her throat as her brain scrambled to form a coherent retort, but the closer the detective hovered, all semblance of intelligible speech dissipated. Her gaze flickered down to her perfect lips and a swell of ineffable emotions threatened to erupt and overrun her common sense.

"Ma'am!"

Abruptly startled out of her hypnotized state, Alex whipped her head around to address the DEO operative from the evidence crew and handed him the broken phone.

"Get this back to HQ and see if they can pull anything useful off of it. Contact me as soon as there are any results."

He nodded and headed back to the rover as the rest of the team began finishing up with the crime scene. Releasing a heavy sigh of relief, Alex rested her hands on her hips and ignored the sirens blaring in her mind.   

She was still coming to terms with her sexuality and though Maggie was the one to kickstart that self-reflection, she had also become a major source of uncertainty in her life. Their relationship was ambiguous at best, but Alex had no idea if that was only due to her wishful thinking or if there really were any feelings behind their playful banter. Even then, who’s to say that she wasn’t just mistaking her infatuation for friendship? Spending a lot of time with one person in such a short amount of time was dangerous for her judgment.

“You know, there’s some great bars that are open late nearby,” Maggie’s voice cut through her muddled musings. “Last call isn’t for another couple hours and we can discuss the case.”

Alex frowned contemplatively.

“Sure, why not.”

Judgment be damned.

 

//

 

The dive bar was barely fifteen minutes away from the crime scene, which made Alex all the more wary of the immediate danger that they may be in. However once they stepped inside, grabbed their beers from the bar, and snagged a small table to themselves, she felt slightly more at ease.

Staring at her cold bottle, she swished the contents around aimlessly. Where did she even begin to start? 

“So that’s two victims in one week. What’s your take on the situation?” Maggie inquired. 

_Oh right, the case._

“It’s hard to say. We don’t have many details on the criminal besides the fact that they’re dangerous, and it doesn’t help that they haven’t left many clues behind – the phone is probably the first break we’ve had so far, and we don’t even know if it has anything on it.”

“So what you’re saying is we’re shit out of luck.”

Alex smiled sheepishly, “Yeah, that sounds about right. At least until we hear back from the DEO on whether they’ve got anything or not.”

“Well let’s hope your tech person is significantly better than the NCPD’s because ours can’t fix a damn thing outside the realm of ‘turn it off, then turn it back on.’ She’s more likely to break it or throw it out a window.”

“I have full confidence in Winn; he’s the best of the best.”

“Alright, well, bacon glazed if he’s wrong.”

Alex scrunched her forehead curiously, “What?”

Maggie threw her hands up in disbelief; a small but genuine chuckle escaped her lips.

“Doughnuts, Danvers. You owe me doughnuts if he doesn’t deliver. Have you _never_ heard of bacon glazed before? It’s honestly the best thing this world has to offer – after me of course.”

“Gee, such overwhelming modesty.” 

“It’s how I impress all the ladies.”

Maggie’s laughter quickly subsided as Alex’s expression morphed from one of contentment to one laced with dejected anxiety. A strained silence fell between them with the only noise being the ambient classic rock music and the dull droning of the other patrons’ conversations. Downing her beer in a few deep swigs, Maggie set her empty bottle at the edge of the table and looked across candidly.

“So how’ve you really been?”

Alex cast her gaze downward and studied the table. She noticed the fine lacquer that used to coat the deep oak table was chipping in some sections, and took note of the aged scratches that marked the surface like battle scars. It probably was a very nice table when the bar had first opened, but right now it just served as a mediocre excuse for a distraction.

Several more beats of silence.

A Metallica song plays overhead.

An older couple takes cheap whiskey shots at the bar. 

“Alex.”

Upon hearing her name, she glances up and is met with the warmest and most sincere look that she definitely didn’t feel deserving of.

“You can talk to me. Don’t think that you’re in this alone, because you’re not. I know what you’re going through.” 

“But how _can_ you?” Alex clenched her hand around her beer bottle like it’s a lifeline keeping her tethered to solid ground. “You’ve always known since you were young. You’ve already had years of experiences that I’m just now going to go through, and that’s _if_ I’m lucky enough to find someone. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly young anymore, and the only love in my life goes to Kara and the DEO.” 

Maggie snorted, “You’re not old, so don’t even get me started on that.”

She waited for Alex to finish her drink before continuing.

"Stop thinking that you’re going to die alone, because that is a flat out lie that people tell themselves out of the fear of the unknown. You’re figuring yourself out later than me, so what? Put yourself out there, find out what you want, or don’t want for that matter, and discover what makes you happy.”

She continued staring at the table, deep in thought pondering Maggie’s words.

“You have me, and i'm sure once you're ready, you'll have your friends and family too for support so you don't have to keep going it alone. It also helps that you're smart, attractive, and a little hard-headed, but really... you’re going to be just fine. Trust me, I’m a cop.”

Alex half-heartedly smiled before punching her in the arm, “You’re an idiot.”

“I’m amazing.”

They locked eyes and in that moment nothing else mattered. The music softly faded to Led Zeppelin, the couple at the bar were taking tequila shots now, and the bartender was requesting a new bottle of Patron, but through the jumbled cacophony of mismatched strangers, time had come to a halt. There were no aliens threatening to murder civilians, no pressure of being the flawless daughter, no judging looks from outsiders - it was just them in this space together, and it was absolutely perfect.

"Maggie, I -"

_Bz Bzzzz_

_Bz Bzzzz_

Alex glared at her ringing phone as the caller ID illuminated with Winn's goofy grin. Maggie dipped her head and smiled, "You should get that."

Slamming the call button with her thumb, Alex growled into the phone, " _What?_ " 

"Woah there, don't shoot the messenger!"

Rubbing her temples, she let out an exasperating sigh, "Sorry, sorry. I just - what is it? Please tell me you have something on our killer."

"Okay so good news, the phone isn't broken," Winn stammered, his voice riddled with apprehension.

"Please get to the point." 

"Bad news is, we still haven't been able to pull a clear piece of audio off of it. The internal motherboard was heavily damaged, but just give me a few more hours and I should be able to work my magic."

A high pitched scream from outside immediately caught Alex's attention and she noticed that Maggie heard it as well, her hand already unholstering the pistol strapped to her side.

"Looks like you might not have a few hours Winn. Get me that info ASAP."

Hanging up abruptly, Alex reached for her firearm and followed Maggie as she made her way towards the main entrance. Several customers were starting to panic so Maggie stopped at the door momentarily and addressed the bar with her badge held high. 

"Everyone please remain calm. We're with the NCPD; stay inside and lock the door."

Alex cocked her head at her with a playful smirk and whispered, "We?"

"Shut it, Danvers."

"Okay, ready?" Alex flipped the safety off her gun before steeling her nerves. "One... two... three!" 

They burst out the doors and expected mayhem, but instead were met with a ghost town. Though the area wasn't exactly a bustling hub of stores and restaurants, there should have at least been a few pedestrians, but there wasn’t a single person to be seen for blocks. 

"What the heck...?" Maggie gripped her gun, her eyes scanning the area on high alert.

Breathing in calm, collected bursts, Alex methodically looked left and right for any sign of the person who screamed.

"I don't understand, I could have swore -"

_WHAM_

Out of nowhere, a bloodied human leg fell from the sky and landed with a sickeningly wet thud right by Alex’s feet.

“Shit!”

She leapt away from the dismembered limb like it was the plague and the two women looked skyward. A dark winged silhouette stood out against the night sky, bottom lit by the faint street lights that peppered the street, and it let loose a ghastly roar sending chills down their spines. Even from down below, the beast looked humongous, however as it circled around flapping its large feathered wings and began a nose dive, Alex feared for the worst.

“Move!” Alex exclaimed as the two somersaulted in opposite directions just as the massive monster swooped past and came to a screeching halt behind them. 

Its appearance was akin to a lion, but its glowing, otherworldly yellow eyes, sleek dark charcoal fur, and powerful wings said otherwise. Despite being on all four legs, it stood nearly fifteen feet high, and as it opened its mouth a low ominous rumble emitted through rows of sharp jagged teeth.

“Danvers, please tell me you know what this thing is.” Maggie asked, her voice wavering ever so slightly, but not once taking her eyes off the dangerous beast.

Alex shook her head grimly, “Not a clue.”

With her gun trained on the winged beast, Alex shouted loud and clear.

“You are under arrest! You have the right to remain silent -”

Quick as lightning, the monstrosity roared and charged headlong at her with its maw open wide keeping the sharp fangs exposed. With a powerful leap, it swiped at Alex, who barely rolled to the side to avoid the brunt of the attack but still yelled out in pain as the claw grazed her arm. Sweeping into a low crouch, Alex grabbed her arm tightly as warm blood steadily oozed through her fingers.

“Safe to say it doesn’t speak English!” she laughed through gritted teeth. 

It screeched again, rearing its ugly head towards Alex sensing that she was weakened and began to prowl towards her with a low guttural growl. 

“Hey asshole!”

Maggie emptied close to seven shots into the beast’s side, black blood splattering out as each bullet found its mark, but the beast remained unfazed in its predatory advance. It leapt towards Alex again, clawing her in the leg but refusing to finish her off as if it were simply toying with its food.

Alex scrambled backwards, adrenaline kicking in as she ignored the waves of pain emanating from the scratches, and she fired several rounds from her own gun straight into the beast’s face.

“Sawyer, run! Call for backup and get the people in the bar to safety!”

Human weaponry seemed infinitely useless - the gun clicked empty and her body went cold. 

 _This is it. This is where I die._  

Everything ached and even the adrenaline was failing to mask the sheer amount of pain flooding through her system. The beast stopped right in front of her and abruptly crouched down low, its muscles tightly wound as if ready to pounce at any second, then all of a sudden whipped its tail up high to reveal a sharp point at the end. And as the tail lashed forward like a hissing snake, Alex felt her body get thrown against its will. As she skidded across the ground and looked to where she was just moments before, her heart dropped. 

The razor sharp tail was sticking clean through Maggie’s shoulder. Her cry of pain ripped through Alex’s soul, resonated through her entire being, and made her whole world shatter in an instant.

“ _Maggie no!”_  

Alex surged forward and grabbed the gun that slid from Maggie’s limp hand and fired point blank into the monster’s eyes and elicited the reaction she was hoping for. It howled in agony, one eye gushing with black blood, as the tail retracted and the beast hopped backwards defensively.

With it being distracted and all injuries temporarily forgotten, Alex scooped Maggie up in her arms and dashed towards the nearest alleyway, her vision rapidly blurring during the escape. The nightmarish monster’s roars faded as she put as much distance between them as she could. Tears stung her eyes and ran freely down her face as she found several mountainous boxes and a few dumpsters tucked away in a corner that marked their save haven.

Her breaths ragged and labored, Maggie choked and hissed in pain as Alex tried her best to gently lay her down on her back. Her mind was working a million miles a second, trying to run through the medical procedures that she hoped she'd never have to use in the field.

“I - I gotta - need to stop the blood. P-put pressure.”  Alex’s shaky hands tore off a piece of her own shirt but as she went to inspect the puncture wound, her mouth went dry.

The edge of the gaping hole was inflamed, and a pattern of deep purple and green was spidering outwards.

_Poison._


	2. With Our Backs to the Wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone for the kind words! The comments are always such a huge encouragement for me and I read every single one of them. I hope you're all enjoying the story so far.

Alex choked back tears as she struggled to keep her emotions from running rampant. 

Upon seeing the inflamed wound, she stopped putting pressure and scoured her brain for solutions. Maggie was bleeding at an alarming rate, but if Alex applied any pressure to act as a tourniquet, it would only exacerbate the problem by spreading the toxin faster – either way, things were looking bleak and they were running out of time. 

As delicately as possible, Alex wrapped Maggie’s injury with the torn strip of her own shirt to partially stanch the flow of blood, but she knew it was like putting a band-aid over a bullet wound. She needed medical treatment ASAP, but with the monster still in the vicinity, running back to the bar area where their motorcycles were parked would be guaranteed suicide; Maggie was in no condition to move, let alone run.

A violent coughing bout brutally racked Maggie’s body, each harsh hack punctuated with a pained grimace that made Alex’s heart ache with helplessness.

“I won’t let you die,” she whispered resolutely as both reassurance to herself and a promise to Maggie. 

Wincing through the agonizing throbs her exhausted muscles were screaming in protest, Alex fished around in her pocket for her cell phone. She needed to get in contact with the DEO to get a backup team sent and she desperately hoped against all odds that Winn had some kind of info ready. Pulling out her phone, her blood began to boil before she scowled in utter frustration; her own fractured reflection stared back at her through the cracked tempered glass. 

“No no  _ no, _ this can’t be happening.”

The dead phone mocked her with its silence before she hurled the useless piece of technology into the brick wall in an outrage.

“What’s the point of having a phone case if it doesn’t even do its damn job?”

After the phone hit the floor, Maggie’s face contorted with pain as she tried to lean up, groaning from exertion the entire time. 

“Hey! Hey no, you have to rest!” Alex exclaimed in a panic. “The more you move, the faster the poison will spread.”

Eyes screwed shut in agony but yielding to the distraught request, Maggie stopped. 

“…ground is… a little hard.” 

Her voice came in ragged, quiet gasps but it was enough. After several seconds of careful maneuvering, Alex scooted over until she was sitting cross-legged behind Maggie and gently lifted her head onto her lap. 

They sat in silence as Alex stroked Maggie’s hair in her best effort to comfort her, but with blood steadily soaking through the paltry bandage, the unbearable gravity of what neither of them wanted to acknowledge was beginning to loom over their shoulders.

There were few times that Alex’s heart had harbored such unfathomable devastation. Her father, her mother, J’onn, Kara – they all had a part in instigating some of the most pivotal moments in her life that could be counted on one hand. The trials and tribulations that her family and the DEO had put her through only served to strengthen her resolve and add wall after wall to her physical and mental fortifications. In her near 30 years of living, she thought she had seen it all and experienced everything there was that the frightening vastness of the universe had to offer. Every twist became predictable, every alien became familiar; there was nothing new left to surprise her or break past her impenetrable defenses.

But then there was Maggie.

The section of her heart that had remained untouched for so many years of her life was now under fire, and Maggie was leading the charge.  Though it began as a bombardment against her walls, the warfare on her emotions subtly changed tactics. Like a thief in the night, she slipped around the barriers and found her way into Alex’s core without her even noticing until it was too late. 

And now with Maggie bleeding out on her lap, Alex found her own life seemingly draining with her. Whether it was temporary or not, she knew exactly what her heart was feeling and the three impossible words that went with it.

Maggie shivered, her pale and dangerously clammy complexion contrary to the lively persona she so often wore.

“H-how’s it looking, Doc?” she stammered with a miniscule smile on her face.

Alex tried her best to keep a confident and optimistic expression, but the torment in her misty eyes betrayed a different story and her piercing silence spoke for itself.

“That bad, huh?” Maggie coughed up a spat of blood, her pristine teeth now splashed with flecks of crimson.  “C’mon Danvers… I’ve been th-through worse.”

What could possibly be more grievous than this? Alex realized that she wanted to learn everything there was to Maggie, she had so many little quirks and questions that would go unanswered. What were her favorite colors? What were her favorite foods? Her favorite music? She never even found out the places Maggie had been before and what her time in Gotham City was like. 

She never made it about her; it was always about Maggie helping Alex and for that, she cursed her own blind selfishness.

Leaning down and resting her forehead onto Maggie’s, Alex’s body shook with silent regret as warm tears blazed trails of fire down her cheeks. There were a scant few people in her life – people who she never fully understood the importance of until they were gone – who had ever left her feeling so vulnerable. First it was Vicki Donahue, who’s missing friendship tore open a void in her childhood, and soon it would be Maggie Sawyer, the damn cop who interrupted her crime scene and then disrupted her heart.

“I…” Alex’s eyes were clenched shut as the tears continued to flow freely. “I can’t lose you too.”

Maggie brought a shaky hand up to Alex and stroked her hair, “You’ve definitely gone soft on me.”

“Dummy.” Alex choked out a strained chuckle, her lips upturned in a meager smile.

A blood-curdling roar echoed in the distance, shattering their moment and bringing them crashing back down to the situation at hand. Alex immediately straightened up, her body tense and on full alert. The monster didn’t sound too close, but she had no idea the speed it was capable of or what tracking abilities it possessed. Another scream – this time human – joined in with the roar before being cut silent mere seconds later.

_ Oh no, the people in the bar. _

Ripping off her tattered leather jacket, she folded it into a sad excuse for a pillow before putting it under Maggie’s head.  Tenderly stroking her forehead, Alex noted how alarmingly feverish the other woman felt and how erratic her shallow breathing had become.  

“I’ll be back.” She whispered.

Maggie cracked a grin in spite of the situation, “I’m not - going anywhere.”

Using every ounce of strength, Alex hoisted herself up and started jogging back in the direction of the bar. Running the numbers in her mind from what she could remember, she figured there had to have been at least forty, maybe fifty people in the bar including the staff. If there were any other civilians that may have unfortunately wandered too close to the bar, that number could increase.

She stopped at the alleyway that led to her destination and peered around the corner cautiously, fearing the worst. 

Sure enough, the beast was halfway through tearing up an unfortunate middle-aged man. His bottom half was completely missing, not a shred of clothing or limb to be seen, and Alex had to quell the bile that rose in her throat. The exterior of the bar was riddled with gaping scratch marks, evident that the monster had been trying to enter but as of yet been unsuccessful.  From the looks of it, the man had foolishly thought it’d be better to try and make a run for it instead of waiting inside. 

While the building seemed to still be intact despite the heavy beating the beast was dishing out, Alex knew it wouldn’t be able to hold up forever. The front doors were already heavily splintered and even from afar she could see slivers of light leaking out. None of the windows were large enough for it to fit through, so all of the patrons had enough sense to at least stay as far away from them as possible lest it reach its large claws through and snatch someone up.

Leaning back against the cold brick wall, Alex slammed her eyes shut as her emotions waged war with her logic. There were two options beginning to take shape in front of her, but she refused to accept them. 

Running back through the winding alleyway, she made her way to behind the dumpsters and kneeled down beside the ailing NCPD officer. The makeshift bandage was now completely soaked through, her skin ghostly and glistening with sweat. 

“Maggie?”

Unresponsive.

There was nothing but deafening stillness and the onset of panic. 

“…Maggie?” 

This couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be the end. It was all happening too fast and too sudden. 

“No. No don’t you do this to me!”

Kicking into high gear, she straightaway started doing chest compressions, hoping to god that her body could withstand further punishment. The world seemed to pass at hyper speed as their moments together flashed before her eyes. 

The first crime they solved together.

The night at the fight club where she looked beyond stunning.

Every night thereafter, shooting pool and having a couple of drinks like two lifelong friends.

Her confession.

No.

This was  _ not  _ how it ended.

Checking for any signs of breathing, Alex tilted Maggie’s head back and lifted her chin. 

Nothing.

No wheezing, no sounds, not a single wisp of air. Just the harsh coldness of the night and the devastating prospect of a barren life with no Maggie Sawyer in it. Without hesitation, Alex pressed her lips to Maggie’s and breathed deeply twice. 

Nothing.

More compressions. 

Each time Alex went through the motion, her chest felt heavier and constricted like being trapped in a room filled with roaring flames devouring every last bit of oxygen like a ravenous animal. Her eyes stung with the salty bitterness of defeat as each successive compression failed to elicit any results.

“Maggie,  _ please. _ ”

Alex’s hushed, almost inaudible plea drifted aimlessly in the lonely alleyway. 

She drove one more desperate press into her chest, one last push for life. If there was ever a time that the universe owed Alex anything, this was how she was cashing in on it. 

All at once in a moment of impossibility, Maggie’s chest expanded as she broke into a fierce coughing fit. Sputtering out more blood from her mouth, the NCPD officer rolled onto her side before opening her eyes meekly. 

“H-hey Danvers… you came back.”

Beaming like an idiot, Alex blinked away her tears and nodded. “Of course, I said I would.“ 

“Well n-now you can go.” Maggie muttered absently, her unseeing gaze challenging her as she spoke.

Alex’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “What?”

“My c-crime scene… my jurisdiction… back off Agent D-Danvers.” 

Flashing back to their first fateful encounter, Alex remembered how they got off on the wrong foot, neither one acquiescing to the other as they both stubbornly stood their ground. Never in a million years could she have predicted what a profound impact this woman would have on her life.

“Everyone always leaves…” Maggie mumbled incoherently. It was such a tiny, seemingly irrelevant statement but Alex knew it bore the arduous burden of a lifetime of disappointment. 

Maggie’s glazed eyes faded in and out of consciousness with every blink, and then it was clear that mild delirium was setting in, but whether it was from the loss of blood or the side effects of the monster’s toxin Alex couldn’t tell. She knew there wasn’t much time left, and she had to make a choice.

“Maggie, I’m going to get you out of here, but you have to hold on for a little while longer.”

As Alex moved to carry the smaller woman bridal style, Maggie grabbed her arm with as much force as she could muster, her expression now set with firm determination in a brief moment of clarity.

“Save – t-the people in the bar.”

“No!” Alex shook her head ferociously.

“You know it’s the r-right thing to do. You can’t save us all.”

Deep down, from a logical standpoint she knew Maggie was right and she hated it. The DEO agent in herself was shouting at her for letting her emotions get in the way – there was a bar full of people who needed her help, and with a number of forty to one, she absolutely  _ knew _ which should have been the right choice. And yet…

“Alex.”

“Maggie… you’ll die.”

“So you’re willing to sacrifice innocent people for me?”

Alex’s face contorted in distress. It was frightening at how fast she almost responded to that question, and yet she and Maggie recognized what their jobs entailed and the potential dangers. They understood what needed to be done.

“I… I don’t want to leave you.” Alex uttered, her voice quiet and broken. 

Maggie smiled forlornly.

“But you have to.” 

Never in her life had Alex felt more torn in two than in this moment in time. Here was a woman who she had known for barely a month and yet she felt so strongly for that she was dangerously close to disregarding her morals willingly. Everything her life was built around, all of her steadfast principles and desire to do good, to serve and protect, and yet the weight of the world couldn't compare to the complex emotions she felt for this woman. 

Her eyes flickered to Maggie’s lips and the overwhelming gravitational pull became too much to bear. Alex leaned in and captured Maggie’s mouth in a kiss filled with divine contradictions – soft yet fervent, chaste yet hungry – and every raw emotion she had been storing up, every suppressed feeling she had forcibly buried deep down inside came exploding out in an intense, unbridled frenzy. Maggie brought her good arm up and tangled her fingers in Alex’s hair as she pulled her closer to deepen the kiss. Alex’s hands wandered to Maggie’s exposed stomach where her shirt had ridden up and she suddenly wanted nothing else but to explore every part of her body, however the taste of iron and Maggie’s stifled cry of pain wrenched her back to reality.

Struggling to maintain consciousness, Maggie forcefully shoved her away as she urged her on. 

“Now get out of here Danvers!”

With butterflies in her stomach but feeling like she received a traumatic shock to the system, Alex’s chest heaved up and down as she tried to stabilize her breathing. She had finally found what was missing from her previous relationships, and now she had to give it up. 

Pressing a tender kiss to Maggie’s forehead, she bolted upright and ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of me is laughing because I feel like Maggie is pulling a Laura Hollis. Oh you think I'm dead? Naw, lemme finish, I'ma talk perfectly fine for another twenty minutes.


	3. David and Goliath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for sticking with this to the end!

Alex’s feet pounded harshly against the pavement – her lips still burning with the ghost of Maggie’s lips – as she hurried back towards the trapped civilians, refusing to look back lest she have a change of heart. During the course of the week after Alex spilled her feelings at the alien bar, she reflected long and hard about where those emotions were stemming from and all of the signs, all of the treacherous winding roads, led back to Maggie.

Maggie, the understanding friend who, in spite of her own personal demons and adversities, always had her back and never failed to offer a helping hand when needed.

Maggie, the dedicated NCPD detective who wasn’t afraid of a challenge and genuinely desired to help everyone, regardless if they were human or alien.

Maggie, the damn woman who entered her life and casually turned it upside down.

If there was one thing that Alex became sure of over the course of her weeklong introspection and ignoring Maggie’s calls, it was her feelings for the stubborn detective. It wasn’t just because Maggie catapulted her into having the courage to acknowledge a part of her that she had kept locked away; she was falling for her because Maggie was just a flat out amazing person. From her stalwart qualities to her frustrating faults, Alex couldn't help but adore every aspect of her because they only added layer after layer of incredible intricacies to her as a person.

She finally had the heart to admit that she liked women, but not just any woman – she wanted Maggie.

Blinking away stray tears, Alex reprimanded herself for being sentimental at such a critical moment. All her life she strived to do the right thing, to put the needs of others above her own and ensure their safety, but when that decision came down to leaving Maggie behind, she found herself briefly wishing that she didn’t work for the DEO. She wished aliens weren’t real and that they weren’t always threatening the world in some way or another. She wished that _for just this once_ she could have a simple, normal life – one where her and Maggie could be together – but that was not the way the world worked and there was a bar full of people who needed her help.

Alex had to uphold her duty to the Earth, and as much as it pained her to leave Maggie behind, they both knew it was the right thing to do. The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few, but _goddamn_ was Maggie worth the world in her eyes.

As she approached the edge of the alley’s exit, Alex pulled her gun out of its holster and ejected the clip. One, two, three, four, five… she would need to make every shot count. She cursed inwardly at her lack of preparation for not carrying any spare ammo, and even the weight of her emergency knife strapped against her thigh failed to assuage her growing fear.

Peering around the corner, she saw the nightmarish creature slashing away at the doors with its heavy claws causing large chunks of splinters to fly in every direction. The shrill screams of panicked patrons pierced through the air as each swipe brought the doors one step closer to absolute destruction. Roughly one hundred feet of space separated her from the monster, and with how large it was, Alex had a clear shot of its massive body. However she knew that bullets to the torso were nothing but a trifling nuisance; she would need to hit it hard and point blank in the face in order to cause any critical damage.

Despite feeling light headed from the blood loss, her body aching beyond measure, Alex sucked in a deep breath and gripped her pistol in a vice-like hold before leaving the cover of the alleyway. She jogged towards the beast at an even, cautious pace before shouting out to grab its attention.

“Hey ugly!”

The monster snapped around in an instant and honed in its demonic eyes on Alex, the confined civilians now easily forgotten. With no barriers obstructing the beast from this prey, it refocused its efforts and snarled savagely before baring rows upon rows of jagged fangs in anticipation. Alex hoped to draw it into close combat so she could unload as many bullets into the beast’s vulnerable eyes, but instead without warning, the tail whipped up and slung dangerously sharp quills in her direction like aggravated, hostile wasps.

Narrowly dodging to the side, she watched the deadly barbs bury deep into the ground where she was standing just moments before.

“Really?” Alex exhaled incredulously as she added one more hazard to her mental catalogue of attacks to watch out for.

She needed to close the gap and she needed to do it fast. The beast had the upper hand at a distance thanks to its wings and lethal spiny barrage, but if she could keep the engagement in close proximity then she might stand a chance. For all of its sheer strength and daunting arsenal of tricks at its disposal, the monster remained enormously bulky and thus possessed less mobility in close range situations. 

Launching herself off the ground and into a full-blown sprint Alex charged at the beast while deftly feinting left and right to throw its accuracy off, each time managing to successfully dodge every barb that fired her way. Growling in livid rage, the monster dropped its tail back down and instead began barreling towards her on all fours, its sinewy legs flexing powerfully with each impossibly long stride. The space between them vanished almost instantly and the beast swiped at her with its massive right paw. Alex leapt to her left, narrowly avoiding the swipe, while simultaneously training her gun on its eyes and pulled the trigger.

_BAM BAM_

Her ears rang from the gunshots, but her aim was true and both bullets flew into the same eye she had hit in their earlier confrontation. The beast howled in pain as fresh black blood showered out upon impact before it swung a limb blindly and knocked Alex to the ground. Her vision exploded into brilliant stars as the back of her head slammed down on the cold cement and the air was forced out of her lungs. Alex coughed and sputtered in a frantic attempt to breathe but the beast’s front legs came down hard on her chest and she heard the sickening _crack_ of a few of her ribs. Her vision began to blur and hot panic started to set in; oxygen was becoming a dire luxury and she only had one final chance to save herself. 

Shakily raising her arm, she emptied the rest of her clip into the roaring face of the beast.

_BAM BAM BAM_

Two of the shots went low and clipped it in the nose, but the final bullet hit the creature’s only other good eye and she was rewarded with the beast bellowing again in agony as more black blood sprayed out like stygian rain. Rearing up high on its hind legs like a frightened horse, Alex took advantage of the momentary respite and dove underneath between the back legs, ending up at the beast’s backside. With adrenaline coursing through her body, she unsheathed her knife and swiped at the base of the monster’s tail, slicing clean through it, and watched as it fell to the floor with a fleshy _thud_ rendering it useless.

The monster bucked wildly, its deep screeches an otherworldly cacophony of ghastly anguish, and Alex hoped to god that she wouldn’t get trampled. As the beast rampaged from side to side, one of the hind legs knocked the knife from her grasp and nearly broke her arm in the process. She hissed in pain and watched in horror as her only weapon went flying through the air and clear out of reach, but with the beast still riled up in a frenzy, it served as the perfect distraction for her sudden, risky plan. Alex’s body was on fire – every muscle and fiber of her being protested with each grueling movement – but she refused to simply roll over and quit.

In a display of pure willpower, Alex hauled herself off of the ground and reached for the fallen tail. The slippery limb shone in the light, a thick layer of opaque slate colored poison coated the tip, as she struggled to keep it clasped firmly in her hands. Raising it high above her head, she drove the sharp tail straight into the beast’s backside.

The monster spun around in a quick 180 and knocked her hard enough to send her flying into the bar’s brick wall exterior with its powerful wings.

Her body crumpled to the ground like a useless rag doll and she struggled to keep her eyes open, but the damage had been done. With her vision rapidly fading at the edges, she witnessed the beast stagger sideways as if it were drunk, before its legs gave out beneath its hulking frame. The monster’s own poison was its undoing and Alex wanted to laugh at how her ridiculous plan actually worked, but only a strangled gurgle emitted from her mouth.

Releasing a heavy sigh of relief, she was at peace with the fact that she would die precisely how she imagined she would: protecting others.

The last thing she remembered was a woman’s silhouette and the distant calling of her name.

 

// 

 

The first thing she noticed was bright blinding light as far as the eye could see. 

The second thing she noticed was how warm it was.

Oh god was she in hell?

Wait no… this was a good warm, like a comforting hug from your best friend or a soft, cozy blanket on a rainy day. It felt gentle and inviting, as if everything was going to be okay.

And then it was, because there, in all of her worn leather jacket and dark fitted jeans glory, was Maggie Sawyer.

Sauntering towards her, hands in her pockets and her signature dimples framing her infectious smile, Maggie stopped in front of Alex and tilted her head to the side expectantly. Alex had no idea where she was or what was going on, but nothing else seemed to matter because all she cared about was the woman standing right in front of her.

“Maggie I…” Alex started softly, but her features twisted hesitantly. Millions of thoughts raced through her mind making it infinitely impossible to accurately express her emotions. Thinking back on her life, she had won countless debates throughout her academic career and spoke to numerous high-ranking government officials on a daily basis, yet when she found herself face to face with Maggie, her exceptional command of the English language seemed to melt away.

Watching silently, Maggie patiently waited until Alex could collect her thoughts and continue.

“I should have picked up your calls.” Alex stared at the ground, her brow furrowed with remorse. “I – I shouldn’t have ignored you. I was treating you unfairly and you were only trying to help and I… I was just so… I was afraid.”

Maggie smiled and nodded quietly.

“But I’m not afraid anymore.” Alex whispered, her voice muted but assured. “I know what I want, and it’s _you_ \- it’s always been you. I realize that now and I…”

Her voice trailed off and while it wasn’t enough to fully encapsulate her regret, Alex didn’t care.

“I’m sorry.”

A moment of silence passed between the two before Maggie finally spoke.

“Wake up.”

Frowning curiously, Alex watched as Maggie’s lips moved, but it was Kara’s voice that she heard.

“What?”

“Alex, please wake up!”

Alex’s eyes snapped open and all at once she felt again - every aching bone, every labored breath her lungs battled for – before realizing that she was in the infirmary of the DEO, very much in pain but also very much alive. She gathered that it must have been late at night seeing as how she saw very few agents wandering around beyond the thick Plexiglas that separated her from the main area of operations. 

Kara was sitting in the chair beside her, eyes puffy, red, and wide with shock. Her hair appeared frazzled and dark circles shadowed the bottom of her worried eyes.

“Oh my god, Alex!”

Life instantly replaced Kara’s sullen expression as she went in for an enthusiastic hug resulting in Alex grunting in pain. She pulled back immediately before grinning sheepishly. “Sorry!”

Massaging her forehead to dull her throbbing headache, Alex relaxed into her pillow and exhaled slowly. “How long have I been out for?”

“It’s been a couple days, so you should probably take it easy.” Kara replied, her voice laden with worry.

Alex knitted her brow as she attempted to recall how she ended up here. “What happened?”

“Well, you can actually thank Winn for this, but he was scrambling like a mad man trying to get anything off of that you phone you gave him.” Kara stated while waving her arms in an animated manner. “He really did try, but nearly half an hour had passed since you hung up on him so he got worried and when he tried to call you back it went straight to voicemail. He traced the coordinates of where your phone last transmitted from, sent me the info, and I was able to bring you back just in time.”

Alex smiled at the thought of Winn running around the DEO like a frantic chicken, but it was just like him to pull through in a pinch. Sure, he didn’t actually pull any useful data off of the phone so she totally owed Maggie doughnuts, but -

_Wait a sec._

Alex’s expression suddenly warped from the horrifying realization.

“Maggie!”

She shot a frantic and distraught look at her sister, who only heightened her fear by avoiding eye contact.

“Kara, so help me-“

“Alex, when I got to her –“

“Wait, how?” Alex’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“Her heartbeat. It was faint, but I –“

“She’s alive!?”

“Yes, but –“

“Where is she?”

Kara dipped her head low. “She’s down in the intensive care unit.”

Ripping away her blanket, Alex grimaced in pain as she leaned up and out of her bed with only one goal in mind. Kara’s eyes widened. “No, you shouldn’t be moving!”

“ _Don’t.”_ Alex hissed as she swung her legs over the edge of the mattress. A wince accented every motion as she willed her limbs to move, but the physical pain was miniscule compared to the dagger piercing her heart. It was such a small glimmer of hope, but if Maggie was alive then it was essential that she be there for her. “I need to see her.”      

“Alex –“

“Please, Kara.”

Kara studied her intently, not knowing why her sister had such a vehement desire to see the NCPD detective, however after careful deliberation she concluded that there was nothing she could do or say that would sway her. She knew full well how obstinate Alex was once she set her mind on something.

“Well… you should at least change your clothes.”

Looking down, Alex realized she was in a hospital garb. “Could you…?”

Already one step ahead of her, Kara grabbed a fresh set of clothes and helped her shed the gown in favor of loose fitting pants and a heather grey t-shirt. With one arm slung around Kara’s shoulders for support, Alex trudged through the DEO and made her way towards the I.C.U., each step feeling increasingly heavy and burdensome. Her mind became her own worst enemy as various scenarios flashed before her eyes, each one presenting a darker and more macabre outcome than the last.

Stopping in front of a cold granite door with the electronic reader reading ‘Maggie Sawyer’ in bright green letters, Kara rested her hand on the doorknob and paused momentarily.

“I found her before you. Her heartbeat was weaker and so I took her back first. She’s been here ever since, but she… still hasn’t woken up.”

Alex shook her head optimistically. “No, she’s too stubborn to die.”

“You’re one to talk.” Kara opened the door and let her sister shuffle in quietly on her own.

Poorly lit and eerily silent save the chorus of beeps emanating from the stacked monitors, the grim room felt overly suffocating and entirely forbidding. From the frigid concrete walls to the muted color palette that tainted everything in the room – the floor, the ceiling, and even the chairs - Alex hated it all. This was not a place that inspired hope or the will to live; it was a prison of disdainful misery.

It pained Kara to see the look that washed over Alex’s features. She cleared her throat softly before taking a step backwards. “I’ll be outside if you need anything.”

Alex smiled hollowly. “No super hearing please.”

“Of course.”

As the door clicked shut, Alex turned her attention to the bed and was struck by the amount of tubes that were sticking out of Maggie. It was like a surreal scene straight out of a sci-fi movie, like one where they had to rebuild a fallen hero into a hybrid cyborg, but she quickly assured herself that this was very real, and Maggie was barely hanging on by a thread. A myriad of mismatched monitors beeped at intermittent intervals, indicating all of the necessary vitals that the medical staff would need to interpret at a glance. Bags containing mysterious fluids, each with their own specific purpose, sagged on their sterile hangers.

Alex approached the bed and struggled into the vacant chair beside her. Even sitting was a massive chore, as her bandaged chest with her tender ribs radiated with waves of dull throbbing pain, but she took one look at Maggie and knew it was worth it.

Every second of her days spent meticulously analyzing herself and determining that she was capable, every moment of personal triumph after nearly succumbing to her own self-doubt, it was all achieved thanks to who she had matured into, and Maggie played a large role in that shaping. Kara was a pivotal influence as well throughout her adolescence and much of her adulthood, but Maggie contributed another aspect that filled a void that her sister couldn’t reach.  

Taking Maggie’s hand into her own, Alex gripped it gently while softly stroking her thumb across the detective’s abnormally pale skin. Not only did Maggie have to contend with the severe blood loss, she also had to fight off a foreign toxin with possibly lethal side effects. Her body was working overtime and it showed – her normally full and bright face appeared gaunt and her luminous skin looked practically ashen. But there was no doubt that Maggie’s will to live was insurmountable; Alex had no idea how she was able to fight long enough for Kara to come save her.

She didn’t know if Maggie could hear her or not in her coma-like state, but she leaned in close regardless, her tremulous voice barely above a whisper.

“My whole life, I have spent taking care of others – Kara, my mom, all of National City – but meeting you I… I just…” Alex watched the faint rise and fall of Maggie’s chest, content in knowing she was still breathing. “For once, I just want to be selfish, you know? You made me feel, and I mean _really_ feel, these things that I’ve never experienced before; things I never even _knew_ I could experience. And I, uh… I just wanted to say… thank you."

The monitors beeped away like a metronome, which she figured was a good sign that things were stable, but it also reminded her of a clock counting down the time. She hoped her voice would offer a beacon of light for Maggie to cling to, but her heart hurt because there was little else she could offer.

Fighting back exhaustion but refusing to release her hand, Alex leaned over and rested her head on an open part of the mattress near Maggie’s hip. The position worsened her already sore and weary condition, but she instead let her thoughts wander to the first time they met each other and she reminisced about how fast her pulse had raced that day. She originally thought it was because she finally found someone who boldly challenged her with impressively snarky sass, but like the clouds dispersing after a rainy day, it became very clear that it was something so much more than that.

Here was a fantastic woman who taught her to always rethink her perspective, whether it was on life, the way she viewed aliens, or her method of approaching a problem, both scientifically and DEO-wise. There were so many things left that she wanted to do, so many words left unsaid – she hated that it took so long to come to terms with what was right in front of her, and now she was paying for it dearly.

As memories of Maggie danced across her mind, Alex’s eyelids drooped with fatigue and she slowly drifted off to sleep.

 

//

 

The monotonous drone of steady beeps gradually roused Alex from her slumber. Blinking her eyes drearily, she felt the comforting weight of a warm blanket draped around her shoulders and noticed a small plate of covered food resting on the nearby table. 

Stuck to the beige plastic lid was a yellow sticky note adorned with poorly drawn smiley doodles, penned by numerous people due to the mismatch in styles, and a neatly written sentence reminding her to eat.

A lopsided grin spread across her features before sleep claimed her once more.

 

//

 

Four days. 

Four brutal and seemingly endless days.

What had once appeared like a bleak and abysmal room now started to feel like home as Alex had practically set up camp in Maggie’s room, never straying too far. J’onn refused to clear her to return into the field due to her compounded injuries but the NCPD detective was showing no signs of waking up, so Alex took to pacing, or rather limping, around the room for a large portion of the day. Her keen eyes honed in on the monitors anytime an anomaly interrupted the steady beeps, but on every instance her vigorous optimism awarded her with nothing but false alarms and deflated hope.

Why wasn’t Maggie getting any better?

The DEO housed some of the most technologically advanced medical equipment in the world and employed the most brilliant scientists and doctors capable of curing diseases spanning outside of the human species, however it amounted to very little in Alex’s eyes if Maggie’s condition remained stagnant.

Ceasing her incessant pacing around the room, Alex made her way towards the padded armchair – a welcome addition she procured two days prior – and slouched down with a despondent sigh. She studied Maggie’s sleeping form and had to fight off the encroaching negative thoughts that all pointed to the idea that this coma would become a permanent state. The very notion that she might not wake up ever again weighed heavy on Alex’s heart, and as her eyes lingered on the subtle rise and fall of Maggie’s chest, she fought to keep her emotions at bay.  

Alex had so badly wanted many things when she was younger – a fruitful career, her mother’s approval, a significant other – but the DEO and Kara had blown those prospects away, or so she had thought. Growing up, Alex graciously came to realize that the DEO and Kara entering her life actually helped her achieve most of those desires and goals, just in a different manner than she initially envisioned. Eliza expressed her love for Alex at Thanksgiving the year before and how proud she was for her even after discovering the identity of her true employer. The DEO let her put her bio-engineering expertise to good use and she has saved countless lives in the process.

The only thing missing that she couldn’t get right was her relationships. She put her feelings on the backburner because they weren’t important and there was simply no room for them. But now the DEO actually came through and by some glorious serendipity connected her to Maggie Sawyer and she’d be damned if she were to let the connection fade away. If there was one wish that could be granted right now, it would be for Maggie to open her beautiful eyes.

Everyone had a tipping point. For Alex, that point was often tied to Kara’s well-being, but over the course of the week, she discovered that that connection multiplied and had tethered to another. She held Maggie’s hand in her own as she tried to fight it, but she hit that critical threshold and there was no going back.

Unable to smother the absolute desolation constricting her soul, the dam holding back her emotions violently exploded open and raw tears cut fresh tracks down her cheeks. Alex rarely cried, and yet here she sat weeping more times in a week than she could count in the past decade. Her body shook with each choked sob and she hated herself for being so pitiful; she thought she knew herself and that she was stronger than this, but there was always so much left to learn.

Makeup smeared down her face in the most unflattering way as she clenched her fists in anger. Life had a downright cruel sense of humor. Why bring Maggie into her life only to have her ripped away? Alex was the one who was supposed to protect people, and yet Maggie was the one who had to go and throw herself in front of her like some noble hero with a death wish.

“You’re such an idiot!” Alex shouted bitterly as she slammed her hands down on the mattress. “Why’d you have to go and do that?! Why didn’t you just run and get help like I asked you to?”

The bed stirred with the smallest of motions and a feeble voice spoke up.

“…could you… keep it down? I’ve got a hell of a headache."

Alex snapped her head to Maggie in shock and beheld the detective staring right at her with half-open eyes. If this was a dream, she hoped she'd never wake up from it.

“M-Maggie?”

“The one and only.” Maggie’s lips upturned into the faintest of smiles. Her brow crinkled lightly as she studied Alex in all of her messy, stupefied glory before commenting in a hoarse voice. “Danvers, you look like shit.”

Alex lunged forward while letting out an exuberant laugh as she embraced Maggie tightly. Both women flinched from the pressure of the crushing hug due to their sustained injuries, but neither one let go. Alex buried her head into the crook of Maggie’s neck and wanted nothing more than to stay in that position for the rest of the day, but she also knew that she would still need to recuperate. The worst of it was over though, and the oppressive weight of the uncertain future lifted from her shoulders.

Reluctantly pulling back, Alex caught Maggie’s gaze and stopped, her face hovering dangerously close as they searched each other’s eyes for an answer to the question that burned within. Neither one had forgotten what transpired between them in the alley before they parted, but the tension in the air was palpable and Alex had to fight every nerve in her body not to have a repeat of that event. It had occurred as an act of heated passion where they both thought death would claim them that day, but now that the threat was long behind them, she didn’t know whether Maggie still felt the same.

Inhaling sharply, Alex hastily leaned back into the chair and cleared her throat. “I should uh… get going. You really need to rest.”

As she made a move to stand up from the chair but Maggie reached out and grabbed her hand gently.

“Stay with me.”

Alex glanced at their hands before looking fondly at Maggie and she knew she was ensnared.   

“Sure.”

Maggie closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, a serene smile still gracing her face, and suddenly the room didn’t seem that dim anymore.

 

//

 

That night Alex dreamt of wondrous things. It was Thanksgiving at the Danvers household and around the table everyone was there – Kara, Eliza, Jeremiah, Winn, James, even J’onn – and when she turned to her left, Maggie was there too.

Everyone was laughing, eating, and having a grand old time and not a single person batted an eyelash at the two women. There were no judging stares, no off-handed comments; just all of her closest friends and family and they were all getting along fabulously. Maggie held her hand lovingly while everyone ate and traded their most outlandish DEO stories, and it felt like the most normal thing in the world.

Then the scene began to fade into light, and she woke up.

Alex’s head was resting on the usual small vacant part of Maggie’s bed and she rubbed her eyes in an attempt to rid her body’s fatigue.

“You mumble in your sleep, you know.”

Blinking hard, Alex sluggishly leaned up and turned to Maggie who looked notably healthier than she did the day before.

“It’s kind of cute.”

Heat spread across Alex’s cheeks, prompting her to rigidly sit up straight; she was definitely awake now. After clearing her throat, Alex cast a concerned look at the detective. “How’re you feeling?”

“Oh you know, like I just got hit by a stampeding lion with a bitchin’ tail, but I’ll live.” Maggie chuckled to herself as she stared down at the wrinkled bedsheets. “This city really is something else.”

Alex smiled broadly. “Well I’m glad you’re here.”

Maggie looked up and caught Alex’s stare, who then became hyper aware and blushed ferociously as she stammered out a clumsy follow up response.

“I mean – I’m glad you’re here and… a-and that you’re okay. And I uh… oh! I have a present for you.”

Grateful for an escape, Alex hastily stood up and walked across the room to a small table and grabbed the pink rectangular box that had been resting there.

“So as it turns out, a certain someone made a bet with me about a stupid cellphone and, as much as I hate to admit it, they were right.”

She approached the side of the bed and opened the lid to reveal a half dozen doughnuts, three of which were bacon glazed. Alex had Kara go out and get the box of sugary confections earlier that morning and though she requested a full dozen, the super powered alien demolished half of the box herself on her way back to the DEO. She handed over the sweets with much chagrin - incriminating powdered sugar covered the tip of her nose – but at least she left the specifically requested bacon glazed variety untouched.

Maggie’s eyes lit up as soon as she saw her favorite flavor and though it was such a small gesture, it caught her pleasantly off-guard.

“From the mom and pop shop on 3rd and Lincoln?”

Alex nodded knowingly. “I always follow through on my promises.” 

The detective leaned in and grabbed her desired doughnut before Alex closed the lid and set it down on the small table beside them as she sat down in the cushioned chair. Taking a large bite into the delicious, unhealthy snack, her eyes rolled back in euphoria and she groaned with delight.

“Damn, these are the best. I should really get hurt more often if that means you’ll be bringing me these every morning.” Maggie joked as she continued to munch on the doughnut.

“Please don’t.”

Tearing her eyes away from the food, Maggie looked up and was taken aback. Even though it was such a seemingly harmless joke, the hurt and worry that flooded Alex’s delicate features made her chest contract and she kicked herself mentally for carelessly saying it at such an inopportune time. She reached her hand out and took Alex’s in her own for reassurance.

“Look, I’m not going anywhere. I’m getting better every day, and soon I’ll be out of here in no time. We’ll go hang out at the bar, laugh over a couple of drinks, and it’ll all be okay. You and Supergirl saved me and –"

“ _But we almost didn’t!_ ” Alex interjected heatedly. “Do you have _any_ idea what absolute hell this past week has been like? I had to leave you there in that cold alley completely alone and I believed you were dead! I thought I had lost you forever and it literally felt like the world was ending, so don’t just – don’t just keep playing it cool like nothing matters, because it matters to _me_.”

Maggie gawked soundlessly at her, completely stunned and at a loss for words. Alex’s chest heaved in and out as she attempted to calm herself down; she hadn’t meant to unload like that, but her emotional turmoil had hit a breaking point. She paused briefly to steady her composure before continuing in a softer tone. Her eyes glistened in the light, and her voice, so small yet bold beyond measure, cut through the heavy silence.

“ _You_ matter to me.”

Alex hadn’t had a chance to tell her how much she cared, and though the two shared that passionate kiss in the alley they didn’t have time to sort out what it meant. They both thought their days were numbered and that death would whisk them away, but since neither had met their maker, it forced the issue to the forefront once more. She couldn’t tell if Maggie felt the same since the woman was a natural flirt and kind words effortlessly rolled off her tongue, but she just couldn’t hold it back any longer and decided to go all in.

“Look… I won’t deny that everything is so new to me right now. I’m finally seeing the world through a different lens and it is so refreshing and it feels so _right_.”

Having had weeks to reflect on her emotions and where they originated from, Alex knew without a doubt that this was more than just her sexuality. Deep down she had always felt an attraction towards women, but Maggie helped her guide it to the surface and free her from the weight of years’ worth of self-fabricated lies and deflection. And while Maggie was initially the convoy of her emotions and a close friend, Alex finally understood the depths of full attraction and found herself wanting nobody else except for the stubborn NCPD detective.

“Maggie, I want you in my life, but not just as a friend - I want more than that.”

“Alex stop.” Maggie’s expression contorted with a conflicted blend of pain and something else entirely unreadable. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re only feeling that way because I’m right here; I’m just a crush of convenience, nothing more.”

“No Maggie, you don’t get to dictate how I feel.” Alex cut in, her words coarse and stripped bare. “I know what this may look like, but you don’t know how I feel, and right now, what I want more than anything in the world is to be with you. I’m not your ex –"

“You’re treading on _thin ice_ right now, Danvers.” Maggie warned harshly, her voice low and virulent.

Alex halted. She didn’t want to cross the line that would push the detective away, but she also refused to let the ghosts of Maggie’s past kill any potential future together simply out of fear based on previous experiences. She was her own person; Maggie just had to recognize that.

They sat in tense silence. Millions of thoughts raced through their minds but neither knew how to aptly convey them. Both had their doubts and reservations, but the cosmic pull between the two refused to let the subject drop. Alex felt her opportunity slipping through her fingers, and so she decided that talking about the first things that came to mind might help her come to a solid resolution.

“When we first met, I thought you were annoying.” Alex kept her gaze averted as she studied their hands, which she noted were still clasped together in spite of things.

Maggie snorted amusedly. "Gee, thanks.”

Alex cracked a smile and continued. “I thought you were a lot of things. Annoying, for one, but also brash, hard headed, and overly confident.”

“You can stop anytime, you know.”

Alex’s smile merely broadened. “Well, like I was trying to say earlier…” She trailed off, trying to pick her next words carefully. “…I’m not your ex. While she saw so many negative things about you, I came to realize that those same traits that I thought were annoying were actually some of your best qualities.

You’re brash because you care about others and stop at nothing to make sure they stay safe. Your stubbornness means you fight for what’s right and refuse to let others sway your altruistic and righteous morals. You’re confident because you’ve always been so independent, and your track record with helping others has been nothing but impeccable – you’re reliable and you know it.”

Glancing up from their hands, Alex looked Maggie directly in the eyes and she saw the universe and everything that was good in it; they were a portal to heaven on Earth, and never wanted to let it go.

“Maggie – I… I like you so damn much that it frightens me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before in my life and never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that these – these emotions that I’m experiencing, could _ever_ happen, a-and it’s all because of you. I like you because of who you are as a person.”

Her heart hammered away in her chest as she spilled every last ounce of feeling into her words and it felt like her ribs would break again from the stress. She didn’t know how else to convince the detective of her emotion’s validity, but at the very least she was hearing her out.

“And you know, I understand if it’s too fast… considering everything that’s happened, but I-"

“Alex?”

Maggie cut her off sharply and Alex eyed her attentive confusion. “What?”

“Just shut up.”

She grabbed Alex roughly by the shirt and pulled her in swiftly, their lips crashing together in a heated mess of passion and hungry desire, and while it mirrored their kiss that they had shared in the alleyway it soared far beyond it in intensity because there was no threat of death looming on the horizon. The monster was slain, the people were saved, and Alex grinned into the kiss because she couldn’t believe that she _actually_ _got the girl_ just like in those trite children’s fairy tales.

Maggie’s hands snaked up and tangled in Alex’s hair as she fervently pulled her in closer to deepen the kiss. Alex nearly lost her balance and her arms shot out onto the bed on either side of Maggie to hold her herself up so she wouldn’t crush the recuperating detective.

It was everything that Alex had been missing, and she suddenly understood what it felt to be alive. Electricity surged through her body like radiant energy, invigorating her with every brush of the lips. One of Maggie’s hands trailed down from her hair and, thanks to her loose shirt that had ridden up, settled on the exposed small of her back, setting her skin ablaze from the contact as she pressed her in closer. Her pulse raced and her senses went haywire as every touch and every motion shot shivers up her spine; Maggie was a wildfire burning through her system, devouring her whole.

A moan escaped Alex’s lips and she broke the kiss. Both women panted heavily, their noses still touching, reluctant to separate from one another.

“So – does this mean you’re giving us a shot?” Alex joked in between gasps of air.

Maggie smirked, her cheeks flush and her eyes glinted in the light. “Just warning you: I do still have my reservations but…”

She pulled her back in and brushed their lips together; this time it was neither overzealous nor desperate – it was patient and gentle and full of the compassion and intimacy that the two women were prepared to provide each other.  

“…fuck it.”

They both smiled into the kiss and knew that everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sad because the Thanksgiving episode was the premise of my entire story (Maggie gets hurt and realizes she'll take a chance with Alex) so while I absolutely loved the episode, as I was watching it all I could think of was "NO I DIDN'T RELEASE MY CHAPTER YET!" but then they kissed and everything was amazing.


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one goes out to tankiki for suggesting an epilogue. It’ll be my quick take on a Supergirl Thanksgiving, but with no aliens or alternate universe interruptions. As always, thank you everyone for the kind words and feedback, and here’s to a (hopefully) lovely 2017!

A few cinnamon scented candles here, some mini pumpkins there – Kara’s apartment looked like Thanksgiving threw up all over it and Alex showed no signs of slowing down. Winn, James, Mon-El, and Maggie huddled on the couches near the television with beers in hand, their eyes transfixed on the eldest Danvers sister as she frantically scurried around to ensure that everything was perfect in preparation for their mother’s arrival. 

It was their biggest Danvers Thanksgiving yet, which they dubbed “Orphan Thanksgiving” due to the ragtag collection of people in attendance, so not only was Alex agonizing over adjusting the menu to accommodate more mouths, she also had been wrestling all day with whether or not she should come out to Eliza that night. Compounding to the stress was the fact that Maggie would be there as well, so if it all went downhill with her mom, then it potentially could scare her away.

“So, is she always like this?” Maggie inquired with amusement in between sips of her beer. She continued to observe the Danvers sisters interact with each other and as Alex stomped around the kitchen trying to do one too many things all at once despite the doctors advising against it,Maggie couldn’t help but smile the entire time because it was like watching an adorable angry kitten throw a tantrum.

Winn turned on the television and flipped through the channels to find a football game, completely unfazed by the chaos behind him, “Who, Alex? Well, when I was here last year it was pretty dang hectic too, but anything that involves their mom visiting for the holidays tends to be a big deal.”

“It’s nice of them to invite us all for the holidays though,” Maggie commented appreciatively. 

“Kara is the sweetest person I know and Alex, well, she’s like a big sister to me; a big, overly critical, kind of scary, but definitely badass sister,” Winn remarked with a grin on his face before it dropped into a joking smile and he leaned in close. “But don’t tell her I said that. She’d murder me and you’d never find the body.”

Maggie snorted with amusement and polished off the rest of her beer, “Duly noted.”

“So Maggie, how did you end up here?” Mon-El asked as he shoveled handfuls of toasted chestnuts in his mouth, clearly unable to wait for the main course. “I thought all human families had their own sacrificial bird. Do none of your kinsmen live nearby?”

Eyeing him curiously over his interesting choice of words, Maggie shook her head. 

“Normally I would go home to Nebraska to see my family, but my parents decided to go on vacation this year and my older brother is out of the country,” she snatched a few chestnuts and popped them in her mouth. “That, and also Alex insisted that nobody should be alone during the holidays…”

 

_ \- A Couple Days Before - _

 

_ “Are you crying?” _

_ “No!” Alex exclaimed as she hastily wiped away her non-tears. “I just got – there’s something in my – I just, I just yawned, okay?” _

_ Both women were still recovering from their near death experience – Alex with an ice pack over her torso and Maggie with freshly wrapped bandages – and opted to watch The Notebook in lieu of having a date night out. The two were snuggled up on the couch in Alex’s apartment with an oversized blanket and Maggie’s arm thrown lazily around her shoulders. _

_ “C’mere you big softy,” Maggie smiled affectionately and pulled Alex in closer, placing a light peck on her forehead. It was such a tiny gesture, but one that filled Alex’s chest with a soothing warmth that radiated throughout her entire body as if she were basking in the sun. _

_ She could definitely get used to this. _

_ “Psh, whatever,” scoffed Alex in mock indignation, “you still cry when Mufasa dies in Lion King.” _

_ “Wow, spoiler much?”  _

_ “God, you’re such an idiot.” _

_ “Takes one to know one.” _

_ “What are you, five?” _

_ Maggie’s deep laugh rang through the air pleasantly and it’s become Alex’s new favorite sound. She looked into the detective’s eyes and they were filled with nothing but joy, and Alex swelled with happiness; this was exactly how she pictured relationships to be like, except now her emotions finally clicked with the experience. _

_ “Hey so… what are your plans for Thanksgiving?” Alex asked suddenly. _

_ Maggie’s body stiffened and the air grew tense; Alex briefly regretted asking and felt like she should have known better than to bring up family.  _

_ “I was uh, planning on working overtime for some extra money,” Maggie conceded hesitantly, “my family is all away travelling, so no point in taking time off.” _

_ The subject was already breached, so Alex decided why not go all in? _

_ “Would you like to come to Thanksgiving with my family?” _

_ A guarded expression overtook Maggie’s face as she contemplated the invitation. Her eyes averted to the sliding door that led to the balcony as if an answer would be conveniently plastered on the glass. _

_ Alex understood that she crossed a boundary, but it was too late to take it back and the more she thought about it, the less she wanted to rescind it. Family played an integral part in her life, and Thanksgiving was one of the few holidays that they all took time out of their busy schedules to come together. Even though they were still in the beginning stages of their relationship, Alex truly wanted Maggie to be there at Thanksgiving and she figured the worst that could happen is that she simply says no. _

_ “If it makes you feel better, a bunch of other people from the DEO will be there too, so it’s not going to be just my mom and Kara grilling you for hours,” Alex added, hoping that that extra tidbit of information would help sway the detective’s answer. “And neither of them know about us, or even uh… me for that matter, though I think Kara might be catching on.” _

_ Maggie knitted her brow as she struggled with finding the right words, “Alex… I don’t know. Kara is great and all, but we barely just started dating, and with your mom being there too, it’s just…” _

_ ‘We might not work out’ is what Alex felt like the rest of the statement was going to be, and why bother meeting the family if the relationship ultimately goes anywhere?  _

_ It was a real possibility that loomed in the back of her mind, but if she never took any chances and always played it safe, then she’d only be cheating them both. However in the end, the choice was up to Maggie so the ball was in her court. _

_ “It’d really mean a lot to me if you went, but if you don’t feel comfortable and would rather not go, then that’s totally okay too, I understand.”  _

_ Turning her gaze away from the balcony and back to Alex, Maggie cast her a dubious look, “…Really?” _

_ “Um… yes really? Why would I force you to do something you don’t want to do?” Alex reasoned, her brow scrunched in confusion. Maggie was staring at her as if she had grown another head or morphed into a new alien species, but acceptance and understanding really weren’t that difficult of concepts.  _

_ “You’re the first one to not give me any shit or pressure me, and it’s just really… refreshing I guess,” she admitted softly with a hint of melancholy in her voice.  _

_ “Maggie…” _

_ Alex was at a loss for words, but it only last a few seconds before Maggie abruptly pulled her into a tight embrace. She smelled of an oddly comforting blend of fresh laundry and coffee, and each passing moment in her arms felt more and more like home. _

_ “I’ll go with you to your Thanksgiving.” _

_ Beaming from ear to ear, Alex couldn’t help but wiggle around excitedly in Maggie’s arms, “Now who’s the softy, huh?”  _

_ “You’re lucky you’re cute, Danvers.” _

  
  
  


“Kara, where is the stuffing? I thought I told you to bring enough to fill the large blue serving dish!” Alex huffed while pacing back and forth cradling an empty ceramic bowl.

Maggie’s attention snapped back to the kitchen as she watched the adorable angry kitten storm around. Without a second thought, she spoke up above the hubbub of the television and chatter, “Hey babe, do you need some help?”

Completely wrapped up in her own world of panic and stress, Alex missed the slip of words and waved her hand dismissively to indicate that she was fine, but Kara’s eyes narrowed instantly and she shot Maggie a very peculiar look before deciding to stow away that information for later.

“We have a situation,” Kara lifted her arm up and the insides of a pillowcase billowed out like sad deflated clouds. “Courtesy of Mon-El, we now have some very fluffy and inedible stuffing, but it’s not too late though! I can still pick some up from the market real quick if you want.”

Shaking her head firmly, Alex shoved the bowl back into the cupboard and took a large swig from her nearly empty beer. 

“No no, I need you here. Can you start heating up the turkey please? And be discreet about it,” she nodded her head towards Maggie before continuing, “but also be fast; I think mom will be here any minute.”

As if on cue, a solid knock on the door grabbed everyone’s attention and Alex’s eyes widened with dismay. The table wasn’t set, the turkey was lukewarm, and a staple Thanksgiving dish was nowhere to be found; what else could possibly go wrong?

Bounding over to the entrance, she yanked the handle down and swung open the door to reveal not Eliza, but instead Lena Luthor clutching an expensive bottle of Zinfandel wine and dressed to the nines in an emerald green sheath dress with sparkling gold accessories. Apprehension flashed in her eyes as she noticed how many people were already in the apartment, but glittering warmth quickly replaced it as she smiled radiantly at Alex.

“I hope I’m not too late. The markets are an absolute madhouse right now and it took me quite some time to select a wine, though I think you’ll find that this particular one from Sonoma County pairs astonishingly well with turkey.”

Alex’s eyebrows rose in mild surprise and the only response she could muster was a meager “oh.”

“My apologies,” Lena’s smile faltered and shrank into a mildly anxious expression. ”Kara invited me over for tonight’s festivities, if that’s alright with you?” 

“Oh did she now?” Alex cocked her head to the side, her lips pursed tightly in annoyance, and glared daggers at her sister. As if there weren’t already a million mouths to feed, Kara just had to go and invite another person to their jam-packed dinner. 

Kara merely mouthed a silent  _ sorry! _ to which Alex turned her head back around and  nodded her head to the waiting Luthor, “Of course, come on in.”

As Lena stepped inside, Eliza rounded the corner down the building’s hallway, her luggage rolling behind her and a box of pie balancing precariously in her free hand. Picking up the pace, she shuffled as fast as she could and very nearly dropped the pie in the process.

“Oh Alex, can you give me hand with this?”

Taking the box from her mom, Alex threw an arm around Eliza and pulled her into a quick hug before ushering her inside. Kara had already set up an extra place setting and chair for Lena, and with their mom now present, the rest of the party started making their way towards the dining area to take their seats. Though the table filled up considerably cozier than last year, it hardly felt crowded at all and instead added to the heartwarming and cheerful atmosphere that permeated throughout the apartment.

An impressive spread of festive foods, entirely organized by Alex and Kara, greeted their eyes: fresh homemade cranberries, perfectly prepared ham with Alex’s homemade recipe, green bean casserole, glazed carrots, whipped mashed potatoes and gravy, and to top it all off, a hefty nineteen pound turkey heated up discreetly by Kara herself. Winn made a comment about the lack of stuffing, to which Alex whapped him on the head while muttering ‘ungrateful’ under her breath.

Kara stood up from her chair holding her wine glass up and cleared her throat to gather everyone’s attention.

“It’s a Danvers family tradition to say something you’re grateful for, so I’ll go ahead and get us started,” she stated as she glanced fondly around the table. “I’m incredibly blessed to have such a supportive family and the most amazing, loving group of friends. Without you all, I truly don’t know where I’d be today, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

Her heartfelt words brought a smile to everyone’s face. Alex and Winn stood simultaneously, but the latter nodded his head and extended his arm indicating that she could have the floor.

How much had she had to drink? One, two… four shots? Two beers? Or was it three? Yeah, she totally had this in the bag.

_ I can do this _ , she encouraged herself,  _ I’m totally ready. I can totally. Oh man. _

“I uh… I’m so very grateful for…” Alex took a sip of her wine, which Maggie had stealthily filled up just moments prior, and felt the blood rush to her face as she looked around the room. “I’m grateful for my mom and Kara… and my friends, and I uh - this year I went through quite the journey and I discovered so much about myself and uh…”

Everything felt stifling. Everyone’s eyes were on her, the room started spinning, and she found herself transported back to middle school all over again – the scrutinizing attention, the endless frightening outcomes – it was like being studied under a microscope with nowhere to hide. Her eyes darted to her mom, and then to Maggie, and it just became too much _. _

_ I’m not ready. _

“…and I uh – I almost died this year but I didn’t and I’m very grateful. That's it, thank you.”

She practically flung herself back down onto the chair and tried her best to ignore the range of concerned and confused looks searing into her skin from every direction. Maggie reached out and gently grasped her hand for reassurance but Alex flinched on contact as if being burned by a hot stove and withdrew into herself.

Winn stood up hastily and started stammering out a long list of things that went well throughout the year and what he was grateful for. At one point during his rambling, he caught Alex’s attention and gave her a wink, to which she responded with a weak but appreciative smile; he always had her back. 

The rest of the table went around and took turns giving their thanks, but Maggie kept a worried glance trained on her while everyone else spoke. She had a feeling that she knew what Alex was going to declare during her speech and she admired her for her courage, but with such a large audience and one not strictly composed of family, it made the circumstances that much more difficult and daunting. 

After the final person delivered their speech, the group dug into the food with gusto. The festive dishes made their way around for everyone to share and were met with plenty of hearty compliments and satisfied moans of approval. Alex liberally poured some more wine into her glass after discovering it was empty and concluded that eating in silence while listening to her friends enjoy themselves was the safest way to survive dinner. If she didn’t have to talk, then she wouldn’t slip up, which meant absolutely no divulging her emotions in front of everyone, no accidental personal exposé, no nothing until she was absolutely ready to – 

“So Alex honey, tell me all about the latest murderer you stopped?” Eliza asked in between bites of turkey. “Kara told me somewhat of your heroics, but I’m afraid she was rather vague on the details.”

A splash of rebellious wine escaped down the wrong tube and Alex found herself embarrassingly coughing up a storm as she did her best to recover and steel her nerves. 

So much for not talking. 

All she had to do was tell the story and be done with it. No need to bring in the fear she felt for Maggie’s safety, or the heated kiss they shared… or even the fact that they were dating now, which was partly set in motion from said life-altering event… yeah, no big deal. Keep it short and sweet.

Alex gulped audibly.

“Right! So, yes, well uh, first off it wasn’t a person, it was a… a beast thing, which we still have yet to pinpoint its origins,” she tilted her head thoughtfully, the wine sloshing about in her glass, “but good news is that it’s dead and we don’t have to worry about anymore murders for the time being.”

“Yes, but what happened?” Eliza pressed on, eager to hear more of the tale.

Alex fidgeted with her fork and poked around a couple of lonely carrots on her plate before continuing.

“I was out with Detective Sawyer investigating one of the bodies and we decided to…” 

What, take a break on the job at a bar together? Catch up about her gay panic? Discuss her new dating options? Maggie silently smirked into her mashed potatoes at being referred to in such a formal manner and was rewarded with a swift kick to the leg from Alex’s foot beneath the table.

“…we uh, decided to follow up on a lead together, and that’s when the monster showed up. It was so unbelievably strong and it had these huge wings, like, I’m talking pickup truck length wingspan. And man, the claws on this thing were unreal. It landed some scratches on me, and I would’ve been dead if it weren’t for Detective Sawyer; she really saved my ass back there.”

“Well,” Maggie shrugged casually, “you’ve got an ass worth saving.”

Alex choked on air and it took a couple of seconds before Maggie realized the comment that slipped out of her mouth - her head snapped up from her plate with an expression mirroring a deer caught in the headlights. Kara tilted her head quizzically, her eyebrows scrunching as she looked first to Lena and then to Winn as if seeking silent confirmation from someone else of what she just heard.

Maggie promptly stammered out a less than smooth follow-up, “Aaaaaand you’re a very valuable agent and your boss would kill me if I let you die on the job.”

“Indeed he would,” Alex hissed through her strained, fake smile, “thank you for your  _ valuable input Maggie _ .” 

The vein in her forehead looked like it would damn near explode from her barely contained rage, so she glossed over the comment and hoped nobody would press about it.

“Anyways, she saved my life by shoving me out of the way and taking the hit. I managed to shoot the monster in the eye and the bullet injured it enough to cause a distraction, so I carried Maggie to a nearby alley–”

“You carried her? By yourself?” Lena interjected, her bright green eyes filled with amazement and fascination.

“Yes? Why, what’s so weird about that?”

“Lifting someone single-handedly can be tough, and on top of that you were hurt,” said Winn.

“Well that’s what happened, so will you all let me continue with the story?” Alex huffed exasperatedly, her cheeks tinged slightly rosy from the alcohol and mild annoyance. 

“As I was saying, we uh, rested in the alley for a bit to… regroup,” choosing her words carefully, Alex figured it would be best to truncate some minor details, “and then I heard the monster roaring so I had to go help the people trapped in the bar-“

“There were people trapped in a bar?” 

_ Shit shit shit _

Alex forgot that she left out the bar where she and Maggie had stopped at to discuss her emotional turmoil.

“Ah, yeah, I happened to run past a small bar near the alley and we were close enough to hear the monster attacking it,” her voice cracked as she rushed through her white lie, “but long story short: I went back to fight the beast and wound up killing it myself.” 

It was Maggie’s turn to cut her off. She stared at her with a mix of astonishment and concern painted on her features, “Wait, I thought Supergirl took care of it?”

“I guess I never told you, but no, Supergirl actually arrived afterwards,” explained Alex as she finished off her wine. “I took it down on my own by cutting off the tail and impaling the beast with it, which I definitely have to give myself badass points for.”

“Wow, that’s actually… pretty impressive,” Maggie said, her voice soft and surprisingly earnest, “and also terrifying to imagine because I saw firsthand what that thing could do, but… I’m just glad you were safe.”

Alex held her gaze and smiled, “Yeah, you too.”

Whether it was from the alcohol or something else entirely too early to put into words, Alex felt the blood rush to her face as her heart hammered out a rapid, uninhibited rhythm so loud that she was sure that Clark could hear it all the way from Metropolis. 

All it took was one small glance or even a tiny unassuming comment, but those subdued moments were the ones that took her breath away because they kept Alex grounded and reminded her how much the other woman cared for her. Such a simple remark -  _ I’m just glad you were safe _ \- was all it took for her to become undone, but Maggie just had that cosmic effect on her. It was both intoxicating and unnerving all at once.

And then the moment died as Mon-El’s voice sliced through the air.

“Get a room you two!” He exclaimed with a chipper smile.

Alex’s head whipped around and she shot him a mortified expression while Maggie looked more bewildered than anything; she hardly knew the guy and couldn’t get a read on whether he was joking or not.

“What?” Mon-El tilted his head in a perplexed manner, “Winn told me that you hum- I mean, you people say that when two individuals make a sudden, strong connection and-“

“N-no, that’s not exactly what it means,” Winn sputtered defensively.

“But is that not what you explained to me when Kara and Lena-“

“Who wants to play charades?” Kara interjected by clapping her hands together inordinately loud.

“I do,” Alex said quickly as she bolted up from her seat, relieved that she had an excuse to leave the table. “I’ll go set it up.”

The rest of the guests remained seated to finish off what was left on their plates as Alex took her time searching through the cabinets for the stack of cards with the categories on them. With each drawer yielding unsuccessful results, she found herself slamming them shut with a little more force than the last. 

Mounting frustration and the haze of alcohol fueled her harsh movements and clouded her thoughts. She wanted the night to be relaxing and welcoming, yet much like the years past, it’s been nothing but one speed bump after another. An unexpected guest, no Thanksgiving stuffing, and her inner dichotomy between wanting to be herself but being unable to do so, all contributed to her current anxiety that not even whisky or wine could alleviate.

As she reached out to open the last drawer, the comforting weight of a hand rested on her shoulder.

“Hey, how’re you holding up?”

Maggie’s soothing voice was a beacon in the night and the rest of the guests’ idle chitchat faded into background noise. Releasing a heavy sigh, Alex shuddered involuntarily and shook her head.

“I don’t know how to do this.”

“Do what?”

“This,” Alex waved her hands, motioning to the dinner table and then to her and Maggie, “and  _ this. _ ” 

Maggie squeezed her shoulder supportively and Alex took a couple of deep breaths, her eyes clenched shut as she struggled with coming to terms with her new normal.  

“How am I supposed to be happy when I can’t even bring myself to be who I am around family?”

“Hey Alex, look at me, look here,” Maggie pulled Alex’s shoulders so they squared up together face to face, their eyes connecting with one another on an unfathomable level beyond the surface. “You can’t beat yourself up over this. When you’re ready, you’re ready and let me tell you right now, there are way more people here than just family so what you almost did would’ve been the most gutsy thing I’ve ever seen you do.”

Alex cracked a tiny smile, “Yeah, well I didn’t go through with it so apparently I wasn’t gutsy enough; I bet you came out to your parents on the first try.”

“It’s not a competition,” Maggie shrugged before a smug grin spread across her face, “but we can’t all be awesome like me.”

Alex punched her in the forearm playfully, “Jerk.”

“I try my best.”

She pulled Maggie into hug and felt a large portion of the invisible burden that she had been carrying all night lift from her shoulders. Over the course of her life, she always kept people outside of her family at arm’s length, always subconsciously afraid of what others might think should she hug someone for a moment too long, or get far too close with a friend. Now with Maggie in her life, everything she thought she knew about continued to get flipped on its head and though strange as it was, she found herself growing in new ways.

A small baggy of cards tucked neatly in the drawer caught Alex’s eyes and she pulled away, excitedly snatching up the bag in victory.

“Found them!”

The boisterous exclamation drew everyone else’s attention, and as the rest of the gang started making their way towards the couches, Maggie gave her arm another reassuring squeeze.

“For the record, it took me years to tell my parents,” she said candidly, “I wasn’t kidding when I said it’s not a race. You can tell your family when you’re ready, and just know that when you do, I’ll be right here for you.”

Alex smiled, her solemn eyes now filled with hope, “Thanks.”

Mon-El came bounding on over with a broad grin fueled by inexplicable energy, “Get a room you-”

“Will you stop saying that?!” Winn threw up his hands and groaned in exasperation.

James rubbed his hands together in anticipation, “So what are the teams?”

The party decided on doing pairs, so everybody coupled themselves off. While Maggie and Alex were easy to match, seemingly everyone wanted to be Kara’s partner, however much to the guys’ dismay, she chose Lena. Winn ended up with James and Eliza with Mon-El.

“Alright alright, let the pros go first,” boasted James as he brushed off his shoulders with joking cockiness.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Kara said as she reached for the mini-hourglass timer. “Ready? Set… go!”

James slapped one finger to his wrist.

“One syllable!” Winn shouted.

Dropping to the floor with a loud  _ thud _ , James started flopping about comically, which drew roars of laughter all around.

“Whale?”

He kept flopping.

“Worm?”

More silent flopping.

“Mermaid?”

James frowned in confusion, “Dude.”

“Hey no talking!” Kara pointed accusingly.

Waving his arms furiously, Winn shouted, “Pass! Pass!”

James snatched another card and stared at the word briefly before throwing it on the ground. Slapping his wrist with three fingers, he held out his arms and started running in place awkwardly. 

At a complete loss for words, Winn shook his head, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as he spouted words out rapid fire.

“Running man? Kickboxing? Ah – ahhhh Karate?”

Rubbing his forehead frantically, James switched directions and began pointing at Kara. 

“Super… super…?”

“Time!” Alex yelled as the last grains of sand fell signifying the end of the round.

“Bicycle!” James shouted, clearly upset. “The word was bicycle! Man, you are terrible at this, I demand a new partner!”

“B…bicycle? Why did you point at Ka- oh. Oh, I get it now.” Winn’s eyes went wide as he realized the clue that James was hinting at. Lena and Kara coughed in unison and Alex concluded that there was some grand inside joke that she was missing out on.

“Okay it’s our turn,” Maggie declared confidently, “we’ll show you how it’s done.”

“Ready… set… go!”

Glancing at the card for only a second, Maggie slapped her wrist with three fingers before running in place and hopping up every so often, her legs going parallel to the ground.

“Track and field!”

She fistpumped in the air and grabbed a second card. Slapping her wrist with two fingers, she then proceeded to swing her arms, her hands balled into loose fists like if she were gripping something.

“Baseball!”

Maggie shook her head, but waved her hands in a ‘come here’ motion and Alex knew she was close.

“Babe Ruth?”

Grinning broadly, Maggie grabbed another card to which Winn scowled in utter disbelief. “How are you guys doing that?”

Two fingers slapped against her wrist and she was at it again. Bringing up her hands to either side of her forehead, she pointed her index fingers upwards and glowered menacingly.

“Oh, oh Batwoman!”

“Time!” 

Maggie high fived Alex and flashed her a proud, endearing smile, “We make a damn good team Danvers.”

“Psh, whatever,” James shrugged his shoulders and scoffed good-naturedly, “you just had easy words.”

“Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night,” Maggie fired back before taking a seat next to Alex on the couch and throwing an arm around her shoulders involuntarily.

“I’ll go cut the pie,” Alex sprang up from the couch abruptly, her enthusiasm just barely masking her unease, “you guys can keep playing,” 

The others paid her little mind as she shuffled back towards the kitchen and pulled the pumpkin pie out from the fridge. Like a well-oiled machine, she prepped plates, utensils, and napkins for everybody before finding the giant cutting knife and serving spatula. She made a move towards the pie, but stopped short – her arms stiff and hesitant – before ultimately leaning heavily on the counter with slumped shoulders.

Even with the laughter of her friends ringing in the background as another round of charades was well underway, that creeping feeling of unrest snaked its way up her body and threatened to suffocate her in a chokehold. It was just an arm around her shoulder, it’s not like it was the end of the world. It’s not like anyone was watching, right? Who cares what people think? 

And yet Alex cared. 

She cared  _ immensely _ . 

She couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing her mom, or even Kara. Neither of them had said anything all night, but who knows what was running through their minds? Had they noticed anything going on between her and Maggie? What if they did and just didn’t want to bring it up? What if-

“Sweetie, is everything alright?”

Eliza’s voice cut through her dark inner musings, the innocent question bringing Alex back to reality. 

“What? Yes - yeah, I’m fine, just go back to the game I can cut the pie on my own,” Alex replied absentmindedly as she went back to busying herself with the dessert. 

“I wasn’t talking about the pie, Alexandra,” she moved beside her daughter and started scooping some of the slices onto the vacant plates. “You seemed rather distracted all night.”

She left the comment out in the open. Neither spoke for several breaths - the clatter of silverware and faraway laughter filling the space – but Eliza remained quiet and patient. It wasn’t her place to pry sensitive information out of her daughter, and while her mother’s instinct knew something was off, she wanted Alex to tell her of her own accord.

They plated the sliced pie in silence and as Eliza picked up two dishes to serve the guests, Alex spoke up in a hushed, uncertain tone. 

“Wait, I…” her hands clenched around the cutting knife, knuckles white and trembling, “I have something to ask you.”

Eliza sat the plates down and gave her full attention to her daughter.

“Would you… still love me even if I was… different?”

Alex couldn’t bring herself to look her mother in the eyes, but surprisingly enough Eliza simply chuckled lightheartedly before responding.

“Alex, sweetie, you already are different; your  _ entire family _ is different. Your father was apart of the DEO, your sister is an alien, and you have the most talented and gifted mind for bio-engineering that I have seen in years. Regardless of how ‘different’ you may think you are, it doesn’t change the fact that I will always love you no matter what.”

Alex glanced up at her mom with hope, eyes misted over with restrained tears, and then her gaze flickered briefly to Maggie who was still lounging blissfully unaware on the couch. 

“She seems like a sweet person,” Eliza remarked nonchalantly, “you really should invite her to more family functions.”

Her head snapped to her mom in surprise and it all became very clear. Heaving out a sigh of relief, and with it expelling the night’s deepest fears that plagued her mind, Alex cracked a genuine smile, her voice shaking as she spoke.

“Maggie is just… she’s an amazing person and… I’m so, so happy –  _ she  _ makes me happy.” 

As if she possessed super hearing, Maggie turned her head instinctually and waved for Alex to come on over to rejoin the group. Alex and Eliza grabbed as many plates of pie as they could carry and as they approached the couches Eliza smiled fondly at her daughter.

“As long as you’re happy, that's all that matters.”

They divvied out the desserts to all the partygoers who had essentially given up on charades seeing as how Mon-El knew next to nothing of pop cultural references, or anything at all for that matter due to him being so fresh to Earth. The gang dug into the pumpkin pie with fervor, and when Alex sat down beside Maggie, who unconsciously slung her arm around her like it was meant to be, she didn’t shy away or leave.

For the first time all night, the nagging voices in the back of Alex’s mind dulled to an insignificant whisper and she truly felt one step closer to being more comfortable with her new normal. 

Everybody chattered to one other between bites of pie and copious amounts of jokes, and Maggie sighed contently before leaning her head in a little closer to Alex.

“I’m glad I came tonight. I really enjoyed myself so… thank you.”

Alex hugged her tightly as if the world would slip away if she let go. 

“Happy Thanksgiving Maggie.”


End file.
